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  • Please.

    IMAG0073 I haven't written in awhile someone has made it clear that I do need to write more often. Plus, I said that I will include you on my journey through my growing and learning journey called uh.. Life. Please comment and let me know what you think. I am sorry there is a lot of I-usage in this but it's all part of the process.


    I am strong. I am willing. I am not afraid to admit that I am scared that I will get abused for who I am. I've gotten abused so much in the past two years that I am paranoid when I have found something real. I am afraid of losing my boyfriend, who I love so much. It's because I've been damaged by numerous people that I can't see that the goodness is the goodness right in front of me. I have set myself up for automatic defense. I've set myself for the cheating and the tears along with the fears. It really shouldn't be that way but that's the way I feel.


    I am afraid of losing this good thing that looks me right in the eye. But still it's love that I feel. I should stop overlooking and appreciate what is that I have. For right now, I have this feeling of being lost and possibly forgotten because I sort of slowed my life down to realize what else is going on. To learn about me and only me.. and found out what is and what was that bothering me.


    I realize that I am a smart young man that has not even began to reach his full potential and somewhere the rest of it is hidden. It's waiting for me to unleash it. All this time, I have been sitting around thinking that it was going to come and find me. It's not going to come find me and make me successful. I have work and earn what I want to get the success. I realize that I am a man of different talents. Many different talents that sometime needs to take it slow and try use these to make myself better. I have to learn to put myself before anyone else before I can help them. I have to have the basics of knowing how I function and how I work before I know what's going on with someone's life. I have stop trying to fix other people's problems when mine are just as bad and sometime worse. I have to focus on eliminating the fears and tears and all the anger that lies inside me. I have to stop being afraid of who I am and how people might not like me if I change. I have to realize that I can be better and achieve more if I stop worrying about how it affects everyone else before it affects me. I have to stop letting people walk on me when they feel like it. I have stand tall and firm and let them know that what they are doing to me is painful, wrong and never to be done again.


    Break me if you want.. but we all break down to build and rise up into stronger people. I am not afraid to say that I have been blessed and that I believe in a God. I shall never be afraid that I kneel down on my knees and ask for forgiveness for any sin that I might have done or shoved into the face of others. I am at a point where I am growing and those that don't like how I change and develop need to gracefully walk away.

  • Da Vinci Code Galvanizes Christian Conservatives

    by Richard N. Ostling, Associated Press


    (New York City)  A line from Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" tells you why it's easily the most disputed religious novel of all time: "Almost everything our fathers taught us about Christ is false."


    With 46 million copies in print, "Da Vinci" has long been a headache for Christian scholars and historians, who are worried about the influence on the faith from a single source they regard as wrong-headed.


    Now the controversy seems headed for a crescendo with the release of the movie version of "Da Vinci" May 17-19 around the world. Believers have released an extraordinary flood of material criticizing the story — books, tracts, lectures and Internet sites among them. The conservative Roman Catholic group Opus Dei, portrayed as villainous in the story, is among those asking Sony Corp (NYSE:SNE - news). to issue a disclaimer with the film.


    Bart Ehrman, religion chair at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, likens the phenomenon to the excitement in the 19th century when deluded masses thought Jesus would return in 1844.


    The novel's impact on religious ideas in popular culture, he says, is "quite unlike anything we've experienced in our lifetimes."


    To give just one example, Ben Witherington III of Asbury Theological Seminary is following up the criticisms of the novel in "The Gospel Code" with lectures in Singapore, Turkey and 30 U.S. cities. He's given 55 broadcast interviews.


    Assaults on "Da Vinci" don't just come from evangelicals like Witherington, or from Roman Catholic leaders such as Chicago's Cardinal Francis George, who says Brown is waging "an attack on the Catholic Church" through preposterous historical claims.


    Among more liberal thinkers, Harold Attridge, dean of Yale's Divinity School, says Brown has "wildly misinterpreted" early Christianity. Ehrman details Brown's "numerous mistakes" in "Truth and Fiction in the Da Vinci Code" and asks: "Why didn't he simply get his facts straight?"


    The problem is that "Da Vinci" is billed as more than mere fiction.


    Brown's opening page begins with the word "FACT" and asserts that all descriptions of documents "are accurate."


    "It's a book about big ideas, you can love them or you can hate them," Brown said in a speech last week. "But we're all talking about them, and that's really the point."


    Brown told National Public Radio's "Weekend Edition" during a 2003 publicity tour — he declines interviews now — that his characters and action are fictional but "the ancient history, the secret documents, the rituals, all of this is factual." Around the same time, on CNN he said that "the background is all true."


    Christian scholars beg to differ. Among the key issues:


    Jesus' divinity.


    Brown's version in "Da Vinci": Christians viewed Jesus as a mere mortal until A.D. 325 when the Emperor Constantine "turned Jesus into a deity" by getting the Council of Nicaea to endorse divine status by "a relatively close vote."


    His critics' version: Larry Hurtado of Scotland's University of Edinburgh, whose "Lord Jesus Christ" examines first century belief in Jesus' divinity, says that "on chronology, issues, developments, and all the matters asserted, Brown strikes out; he doesn't even get on base."


    He and others cite the worship of Jesus in epistles that Paul wrote in the 50s A.D. One passage teaches that Jesus, "though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped" and became a man (Philippians 2:6).


    Historians also say the bishops summoned to Nicaea by Constantine never questioned the long-held belief in Jesus' divinity. Rather, they debated technicalities of how he could be both divine and human and approved a new formulation by a lopsided vote, not a close one.

    The New Testament.

    Brown's version: "More than 80 gospels were considered for the New Testament" but Constantine chose only four. His new Bible "omitted those gospels that spoke of Christ's human traits and embellished those gospels that made him godlike. The earlier gospels were outlawed, gathered up and burned." The Dead Sea Scrolls and manuscripts from Nag Hammadi, Egypt, were "the earliest Christian records," not the four Gospels.

    Critics: Historians say Christians reached consensus on the authority of the first century's four Gospels and letters of Paul during the second century. But some of the 27 New Testament books weren't universally accepted until after Constantine's day. Constantine himself had nothing to do with these decisions.

    Some rejected writings are called gospels, though they lack the narrative histories that characterize the New Testament's four. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were earlier and won wide consensus as memories and beliefs from Jesus' apostles and their successors.

    The rejected books often portrayed an ethereal Jesus lacking the human qualities depicted in the New Testament Gospels — the exact opposite of Brown's scenario. Gnostic gospels purported to contain secret spiritual knowledge from Jesus as the means by which an elite could escape the material world, which they saw as corrupt. They often spurned Judaism's creator God and the Old Testament.

    On the question of mass burning of texts deemed heretical, Ehrman of North Carolina says there's little evidence to support that claim. Rejected books simply disappeared because people stopped using them, and nobody bothered to make new copies in an age long before the printing press.

    The Dead Sea Scrolls? These were Jewish documents, not Christian ones. The Nag Hammadi manuscripts? With one possible exception, these came considerably later than the New Testament Gospels.

    Jesus as married.

    Brown's version: Jesus must have wed because Jewish decorum would "virtually forbid" an unmarried man. His spouse was Mary Magdalene and their daughter inaugurated a royal bloodline in France.

    Critics: First century Jewish historian Josephus said most Jews married but Essene holy men did not. The Magdalene myth only emerged in medieval times.

    Brown cites the Nag Hammadi "Gospel of Philip" as evidence of a marriage, but words are missing from a critical passage in the tattered manuscript: "Mary Magdalene (missing) her more than (missing) the disciples (missing) kiss her (missing) on her (missing)."

    Did Jesus kiss Mary on the lips, or cheek or forehead? Whatever, Gnostics would have seen the relationship as platonic and spiritual, scholars say.

    James M. Robinson of Claremont (Calif.) Graduate School, a leading specialist, thinks the current popularity of Mary Magdalene "says more about the sex life (or lack of same) of those who participate in this fantasy than it does about Mary Magdalene or Jesus."

    The whole "Da Vinci" hubbub, Witherington says, shows "we are a Jesus-haunted culture that's biblically illiterate" and harbors general "disaffection from traditional answers."

    But he and others also see a chance to inform people about the beliefs of Christianity through the "Da Vinci" controversy.

    "If people are intrigued by the historical questions, there are plenty of materials out there," Yale's Attridge says.

    British Justice Peter Smith, who recently backed Brown against plagiarism charges, perhaps best summed up the situation in his decision:

    "Merely because an author describes matters as being factually correct does not mean that they are factually correct. It is a way of blending fact and fiction together to create that well known model 'faction.' The lure of apparent genuineness makes the books and the films more receptive to the readers/audiences. The danger of course is that the faction is all that large parts of the audience read, and they accept it as truth."

    ©365Gay.com 2006

  • Mariah Daily's 'Say Somethin'' Team!

    52 I am now one of the team leads for Arizona's Mariah Daily.com's "Say Somethin'" Team. Can we say that I am excited. Yes I am. Uberly. It's all good. If anyone has any like ideas on how I can help promote Mariah than just let me know. Send me a comment... let me know. I am excited for this opportuniity.


    Sadly, inside I do wish that it was Mariah's 'Fly Like a Bird' that we were promoting. I think I would be much more satisified if they had went through with a video for it.


    On the other hand, I am happy for the opportunity to help promote my girl. To the fullest. So if you are interested in joining the Arizona team then go to Mariah Daily.com and sign up. You can join for your team it's uber fine. I won't be offended, truly. It's all for the same cause. Mariah on top!

  • Kneel down upon your knees
    And ask to be forgive for all the sins
    That you have placed upon yourself


    I am not asking in a sense that you ask a God or higher being of spirituality
    I am asking you to ask yourself forgiveness.
    To take in that deep breath and let it go and realize


    The wrongs.
    The rights.
    The things that you could have done better and just let them go.


    Consider it done.


    Kneel.
    And say..
    "I do my best everyday and the best is all that I have to give
    We learn from the mistakes from our past and the present day
    I've got to move on to learn more about me and others around me
    I've got to learn to not hold so many grudges and discomforts of those
    That are involved in my everyday life. I will push all the burdens that they place on me
    Back on them by acting as if I am perfectly fine with the discomfort and loathe that
    They make or want me to feel."


    Take in the deep breath and let it go.
    Forgive you and the rest is good and ready to go.

  • Kneel down upon your knees
    And ask to be forgive for all the sins
    That you have placed upon yourself


    I am not asking in a sense that you ask a God or higher being of spirituality
    I am asking you to ask yourself forgiveness.
    To take in that deep breath and let it go and realize


    The wrongs.
    The rights.
    The things that you could have done better and just let them go.


    Consider it done.


    Kneel.
    And say..
    "I do my best everyday and the best is all that I have to give
    We learn from the mistakes from our past and the present day
    I've got to move on to learn more about me and others around me
    I've got to learn to not hold so many grudges and discomforts of those
    That are involved in my everyday life. I will push all the burdens that they place on me
    Back on them by acting as if I am perfectly fine with the discomfort and loathe that
    They make or want me to feel."


    Take in the deep breath and let it go.
    Forgive you and the rest is good and ready to go.

  • At Peace | Written P.A. Jervis, Jr.

    I cry no more tears
    I feel no more pain


    As I look back and look at the regrets that I had
    The regrets that I regret having
    Plus the regrets of doing the things that I regret


    I, today, have finally let it all go
    I've stopped stratching myself
    With knives and scissors for the wrong doing that
    I realize wasn't my fault at all.


    For I've been taught that everything's my fault
    Yeah it's not. Really it's not.


    So I bleed no more
    I share no more crimson for the people that
    Share nothing with me


    I cry no more tears
    I feel no more pain.

  • The day a gay cowboy was brutally bashed

     THE Big Brother star who tearfully outed himself on TV last week was the victim of a violent gay bashing that left him bloodied and unconscious.


    As this picture reveals, model David Graham, who is the early favourite to win the sixth series of the reality show, nearly paid a fatal price for his lifestyle. The Queensland farmer, 26, was brutally beaten by five men and left for dead in a pool of blood after leaving a popular Brisbane gay night spot in the early hours of January 22.

    David was making his way to his ute parked in a side street when he was set upon by a gang of men throwing rocks and bottles. In an interview several weeks before he entered the Big Brother house, David said he tried unsuccessfully to placate his attackers.

    "But before I knew it there were guys behind me and they were just beating the back of my head," he said.

    "All I can remember after that is the pain. They absolutely beat the s... out of me. My mate said they just kicked me while I was on the ground until they thought I'd had enough or they were scared they had killed me."

    The assault left David with severe bruising on his face and body.

    "My whole face was a mess of blood -- I was taken to the hospital and was in and out of consciousness for two hours.

    "If you've been bashed by five guys you would expect there to be some type of internal injuries or brain damage after the kicks I took to the head -- thank God there wasn't."

    His sister Linda Graham said the early morning telephone call informing her David had been found bashed in a dark street was "one of the most horrific moments of my life".

    "To be called at 4am and told by your friends they've found your little brother unconscious and covered in blood ... it's horrifying," she said.

    But rather than harbour anger or bitterness towards his attackers, she said David had moved forward in life.

    "After the bashing he said 'hey, things happen, but you could die tomorrow, so why look at the negatives when you can celebrate the positives'."

  • Mariah Daily's Say Somethin' Team

    Mariah Daily is looking for serious Mariah Carey fans to help promote the new single Say Somethin' in the US. Fans who participate will receive special Mariah goodies for helping out.

    Please fill in your information in the form above and check the 'team leader' box if you think you can be in charge of other team members. The team will concentrate on requesting the single on the radio and voting for the music video.

    Let's support Mariah by giving Say Somethin' the support it deserves!

    Note: The team is currently open for US fans only. Should the project become a success, we will open a team for international fans as well! In the meantime, fans around the world can help by voting for the video online! (links are available on top)

  • Under Construction | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.

    I am working on this new project. This project is me. It involves me only. This is a personal journey of growing up and finding out what I need. Also, on this journey I get rid of the people that I don't need and that were bringing me down. This project has taken approximately three to four months a little longer that it was supposed to but it was well deserved. I believe. I got a chance to breathe, to get out of the spotlight just a little bit. Now it's the time to show the new me off. I can shine, I can glorify. I can believe in the things that I think are right. This journey will continue and I will continue write tell you how I am doing and express how I feel.

  • Simpleness. | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.

    Simple.


    Simple things.
    That you do that make me think
    That make me wonder what's going on.


    Simpleness.


    The simpleness like hearing your voice.
    Like hearing that you love me
    Set me at ease.
    When it comes to others ..please.
    You don't compare.


    Thanks for being there.
    Plain and simple.