July 16, 2005

  • I CAN'T REALLY BREATHE, SLEEP OR EAT UNTIL HE CALLS ME
    UNTIL HE CALLS ME AND TELLS ME EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT!


    +/- woke up from a dream that had matt in it. intimate detail (for more ask and i'll tell if i want) but then after that, in the dream, he told me he was seeing someone else.
    - woke up crying because some of my dreams become reality.. especially lately. praying that one does not turn out to be blow into reality.
    - just sit in bed from 5ish til 645am. just thinking about matt and what i had just dreamt about.
    + finally get out of bed at 645 and check emails and talk to benji
    + new track sounds totally hot tamale .. for real. i won't tell you what it is until he says it's cool to release it.
    - one of the free clients, not benji, wants just a little more that he should be charged for and gets upset when i say no
    - he asks me one more time and i threaten to delete his domain/site completely.. >deleted< .. asshole
    + check emails.. so much junk.. i am trying to think of a name for email telefuckers.. maybe eTelefuckers? hm.. let me know of suggestions
    + have oatmeal for breakfast.. while talking to some peeps online.. including my mother
    - mom tells me about a dream that she had that i was screaming that someone had hurt me
    - i haven't gotten to the point where i can tell her that i am gay and i don't know when i will be ready, but i did feel like someone is hurting me, but it's me that keeps holding on because something is telling me that he's worth it, i don't know. i am just stupid.
    + mom and i are interconnected.. i think she knows what i am doing when i am doing it .. and blah blah blah details details. it's scary sometime
    + felipe's xanga is my dj.. before meeting jordan and the gipper for the t-shirt/website meeting
    - almost fell in the shower.. and i am here alone.. who would have rescued me?
    + meeting with jordan mostly about the website and t-shirt
    - feel like grabbing and slapping someone so bad OoH Oh! How I want to!
    + decide to take my quiz after the meeting.. staying there longer than i intended i guess...
    + finally leave and go to get something to eat... mcdonald's perhaps..
    - stop by the bookstore before going to mickey d's  and uh.. my check's not there realllly
    - guy collapses in the mcdonald's from dehydration and he's diabetic
    + work work work, what an amazing job i have
    - christie's grandfather passed
    + chocolate chip cookies and loud screaming about 'I HATE THAT BITCH! WE ARE GETTING POLOS!'
    - ruined jp's day.. so sorry.. i think i should have let her take her nap
    + got to call andrew for flooding in one of the rooms
    - andrew is really mad.. i've never seen him so  before..
    - try to do the rha shirt.. just can't come up with any ideas..
    - i am doing the website, t-shirt for the luau.. for free or as said '... take me to lunch.. '
    + don't mind doing it for jp
    - feeling a little used when it comes to the graphic department.. 'can you do this and that's?' getting kind of worn out.. but i'll do what i can
    + call christie.. /hugs/
    + yay to felipe for talking to me and his support, sorry you were in a 'mal' mood
    + talked a online for a little bit to my fans.. hehe just kidding.. my friends and familia
    + talked to felipe before going to the movies, but really consider drink like two beers before going to the movies
    + talked to ada, as well, and contestant letter C (i am not sure if i got the letter right ) .. but anyway letter C is chosen man.
    + go to the movies with steve, steve and this one girl.. (who we now know as diane). wish that matt could have come along.
    - waiting for steven and this one girl to show up, no worries.. it's like an itsy bitsy minus.. so don't freak
    + see uh.. i think her name is laura, i am so not sure right now.. at the movies, she didn't recognize me because of the hair
    + charlie and the chocolate factory, my rating: .5
    - boo to me for falling asleep like twice in the middle of it.. it's been exhausting day geesh
    - diane was so we say very fucken antisocial.. looked like she didn't want to be there her make up bothered me too.
    + see ashley at the end of the movie.. i thought i was having a celebrity moment.. indeed she makes me feel like one
    + sleepy car ride home, playing with steve's radio.. hehe
    + late night aim discussions are the best with the v-man, he is now a soldier.
    + awwh steve let's go of what's her face.. she got on my nerves and she didn't even say anything to me.. that's why she got on my nerves.. like she didn't want to be around us.. ugh! buh-byeee!
    + both steves are just way cool, absolutely!
    + send matt a late night text.. he probably won't answer it.. i am here.. take me now.. i am ready for love


    thanks to the awesometonic people that have been visiting my page. especially thought that have shown there support on here as well as in life itself. the people that give random eProps.. that's totally freakin' awesome, i am cool with it. to christie.. my heart goes out to you girl.. i don't know how you stand so strong.