Are you for real?
(written by: P.A. Jervis, Jr.)

My heart go a bumb-a-bumb every time I see
You decided to spend your time with me
Set my spirit free to conquer my lonely

The chance for me to live a sweet romance
Whoa! You've given me a chance
I take a step back and give you a quick glance

Asking..
Are you for real?

Weak in the knees is what get is when you touch me gently
So soft the touch of your hands and the kisses of the lips
Setting my spirit free to conquer the lonely
No longer the tears of sadness, but tears of joy and happiness flow from me

But I am still asking...
Are you for real?

The chance to feel another care for me like no other has in the pass
Forever I want this to last
This sweet romance that has swept it's way into my life

Again, I ask...
Are you for real?

Hold me close, taking my breathe away
Touch me intimately and take to places that I've never known that I could go
Chasing all the lonely to their hiding places and my happiness to a whole new level

My heart goes bump-a-bump
Because I realize that this indeed is for real.

O THE MIND WANDERS SO FAR FROM THE HEART

+ woke up around 645ish and just felt like getting up
- felt really hungry, but there's only oatmeal left.. definitely need a shopping trip soon
+ got to work on time, 8ish
+ daily minutes with ada and all the manly decision and realizing that it's way too early in the relationship to be over thinking shit
- boo to me for over thinking shit
+ discussions with kyle about stuff that should be added to club.mimi
+ updated club.mimi [ link ]; uploaded the new layout for it as well
+ yeah only two hours at work
+ emailed some people back, sorry it took me so long
+ text messaged matt to have a great day
+ added some more affiliates to club.mimi
- freakin audio player won't work for club.mimi
+ added some more audio and news to club.mimi
+ did someone break their xanga?
- blow up in the wrong person's face (or screen) about feeling like tech support 'can you do this?' 'can you do that?' 'fix it for me!' blah blah blah
+ got a call from david, i told him that i have a boyfriend now
- he decides that he wants to come over.. so i am like ok then..
- david talks about advice on how to get a job, when he just lost his.. let's not forget that he still lives with his parents, is 38 (almost 39..might as well say 40), doesn't know how to cook, has never owned a home.. i can continue but it's so   n o t   worth the time
+ playing music loud and working on updating benji's site
- david comes over while i am trying to fix felipe's xanga..
- looking over shoulder and reading my IM conversations sooooo not cool in these books
- david wants a hug? did i not explain that i have a boyfriend...
- it's hard to fix felipe's xanga because david yapping about how he thought that i wasn't going to be seeing anyone (jealous?) .. uh get a hint david we never had a chance!
- david decides to stay longer and wants to watch troy
- i put in troy and he's talking during the whole movie and is trying to get close to me.. i feel like kicking in the face.. instead i kick him out of my apartment
+ good bye david.. sure call eyah.. okay buh bye..
+ call matt get no answer, leave a message.. taking everyone's advice not to over think any of the relationship since it just started feeling better
+/- matt texts back that he has a meeting and he'll try to call me later
- bored and hungry at home...
+ go get something to eat.. yummy yummy i've got jack in the box in my tummy
- do random things.. clean the apartment again.. bored
+ talk to random people.. watch tv, have watched since like .. well ok not that long ago.
+ talking to felipe and justin.. justin is a little special, i wonder if he makes up some of the people that he talks about 'well now i have about 6 guys that want to be my boyfriend...' hmm?

so overall.. it was a good day. i learned that i need to stop over thinking, even if a previous relationship has left me scared that another person may hurt me again. i also learned that david is a loser... a nosey loser that doesn't see that being almost forty and living with your parents is abnormal. yeah and i think that's about it. i'd like to thank ada and felipe for the help today..

Just A Feelin'
(written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.)

FEATURED CONTENT?

I just found this Xanga right now on the main page under 'Featured Content.' First they are pretending to be Jesus. I don't find that so bad, but they are pretending to be Jesus and putting up all this bad shit. Secondly, he definitely insulted Mariah.[ link ]. Xanga seriously needs to see some of the ish they are putting in their featured content before they put it on their main page.

DOES YOUR LIFE REALLY SUCK THAT MUCH OR ARE YOU MAKING THAT UP?

- wake up enumerating times in the middle of the night
+ wake up to realize there's a man in my bed, hehe
+ it's so romantic how we.. get ready for work?
+ matt drives me to work.. i arrive at 930ish. i've never been to work that early before
+ small chat with ada and a breakfast run before i actually have to work
+ scribble some ramblings on some people's xangas also known as eproping (aka kissing and caressing, pinching and grabbing, etc.)
+ andrew asked where the mouse was.. hehe.
+ i hear 'what happened last night' stories and updates, song that comes to mind >> like a virgin - madonna
- it hits me at 12 that i can't just get up and leave and go get lunch and that i have freakin five more hours at the desk
+ work on some homework and then stop, then go back to doing it because i realize that's the only thing that i really can do that will benefit me right now
- becoming mentally exhausted, drift off into space almost fall asleep at the desk
+ created a new layout for club.mimi, i will put it up at the end of the month but for now you can check out the site [ link ]
- nice layout but i can't figure out how to make this javascript audio player work, it drives me crazy! it's still broken. i am glad that i haven't published the new layout yet
+ see the new commons hall director and the twins around the same time, awwh the handsome men of ohio.
- hall director is straight! and married! god-danggggit what's the world coming to? just kidding! i'm only kidding! really!  
+ call matt to let him know that i am getting off work so we can meet at my place.
- backpack full of books, laptop and it's like hotter than it seriously needs to be and walking home don't help because i haven't eaten since breakfast
+ take a nap and the arrival of the epic rose
+
+ hey jordan... thanks .. gotta go. you better call me foo!
- try to round up some people together, but not really any biters. ('cept for matt.. hehe)
+ ada and jp meet matt
+ matt and i hang out with ada and jp. eating. watching sex and the city and the arrival the man that's not friends with A or B.

overall a goodish day, except for working the desk, i really need to find a job. next week's goal: update resume and send it to everyone and their mom, join the pros at the travellodge so i can pay rent (ewwh so kidding).. but definitely starting to fill out applications like it's homework due on friday night.

ROSES ARE RED. I AM FEELING BLUE, BECAUSE I MISS YOU.

+ wake up around seven and feel like working out
- stopped by all the people that need help.. feel like a technical support
+ finish business and get to go workout
+ run about 30 minutes and work out at the commons gym
+ small talk with ada
+ call from matt .. just to say hi and good morning .. and i miss you
+ finally talk to forrest about the website that he wants... he's a model and wants a site similar to naomi campbell's [ link ]
+ take a shower after conversing with him
- can't find my key for the apartment to lock the front door and was not going to leave it unlocked
- late for work.. can't find the key .. can't find the key
+ found key stuffed in the blanket on the futon, i don't remember putting it there
+ late for work.. sorry ada
+ work on homework at the desk
+ hang with kelly for a little bit, i've never hung out with her at the desk.. i don't know why.
- sean kept walking back and forth bugging me and kelly... i was like ugh stay still.. ugh.
- 'don't touch me..'
+ brief discussion with andrew.. random nothing .. need to download a song.. i can't remember what it's called
- got a 'unpaid rent' notice on my door threatening to terminate our lease
+ wrong apartment written on our money orders... *phew*
+ take a short nap
+ do some homework
- mommy got jury duty.. always sounds depressed but she can't talk about the case.
+ talk to matt off and on.. yeah he's going to be home around this time.. like in 24 hours! be excited with me
+ ricky and i have our little talks .. just tell her ok?  he only talks to me like real conversation really when he needs advice or help with something. that's what it was..ha
+ talk with kirk .. who i have not talked to in a loooong time. he better start talking to more often or he's in trouble! spankings? hehe jk

it was a slow day mostly.. it was relaxing. wondering what to buy matt for when he gets back.. suggestions are nice.

UHM DO YOU CARE IF... ? OR IF I... ? OR DOES IT MATTER IF I.. ?

+ wake up at 850ish am, no calls from mom because she knows that i am working at 4.
+ check enumerating emails that seemed to have grown in the middle of the night.. well after 4 am hehe
+ cleaning the apartment in preparation for a young man to return home, hehe, i am ridiculous
+ reorganized my bookshelf in my closet so they look like they aren't just books thrown up there from when i moved in
- whoa! books, four in fact, hit me in my face and the top of my head. surprisingly i am still alive.  fyi, they were hardbacks
+ slowed down on the text messaging because uh.. i don't have any left. i've never used text messages so fast.
+ saw a cute picture of matt's little brother.. it's so cute. i love picture message, it's best thing ever.--cause i'm retarded and it took me forever how to send on to matt
- my mom (who pays my bill each month...) doesn't have pix messaging enabled so.. i will stick to emailing them back and forth
+ clean some more in my apartment
+ put together this table that chris or kelly -or- chris and kelly got from ikea that's been sitting on the floor weeks.. all we need is a freakin' couch!
+ take a shower and get ready for work, but wait i need a shirt
+ grab a clean workout shirt to wear to work because i still need to do laundry, i am such a loser
+ find a desk calendar, wrapped and unused, in a parking lot.. an asu parking lot, losers!
- late for work because i can not find a shirt to wear.. or that i want to wear!
+ small talk with the baker and andrew
+ sent more request for people to be benji's fan/friends on myspace
+ 'YOU'RE FLY IS OPEN!'
+ ada's daily minutes and the ordering of pizza
+ eat some pizza and some chicken stomach is happy
+ texting starts up again.. hehe
- stomach starts to rumble and shake.. and the rest doesn't need to be explained.
+ apparently i 'distrubed a resident' and money was taken from a 'straved kid'
+ 'i see pokadots..(is that how you spell it?)' 
- stomach is very unhappy.
+ 'don't quit... JuSt transfer!'
+ >drop the phone< 'the commonsssss on.. uhm... *giggle* the commmmonsss.. (shud up) the commons at asu, this is patrick.'
+ love. hate. and insults. brought to you by the pipper and michael
+ speaker phone session .. 'you're W e i R d!' LOL ... 'doesn't sound like a black guy...' and other marvelous things were discussed, just having a hard time remembering and i didn't even drink.. that much
+ talked to carlos, who was supposed to be helping me get a job if he got the job he applied for... i am guessing that didn't work out because he didn't answer that question
+ printed my course syllabus for FAS 498 and THE 100, going to start doing some hardcore homework because 'you can't be a programmer...'
+ go home and get ready for the party while playing missy elliott, vnv nation and rob zombie.. weird combo?
+ got picked up and headed to the party.. BUT WAIT.. 'we should've invited kamil?'
- OH SHIT...
+ call kamil, pick up kamil and head to the party
+ ewwh beer, where is the hard liquor, damnit.. just go for the beer.
+ see ma, bittina & jarred, of course brian... and some other peeps
+ check out ariana's room.. totally awesometonic for reallies
+ drink some beer, play jenga with the one that says stuff like 'kiss the person to your left..'
+ call from matt (the epic rose, remember!?), talks to jp
+ awwh how cute everyone wants to meet matt
+ we talk in a bed room because it's too noise outside, as well as in, about plans for him coming home from vegas
+ bedroom gets loud so i walk up and down the street, sometime to another street and feel like i got lost a little bit.. then just walk up and down that street (where the party was) then finally sat down, talking about random stuff
+ ..beep.. ..beep.. ..beep.. //first incoming call waiting call since i've goten the phone, it's new to me...// 'we are getting ready to leave
+ buh byes to brian
+ back to the apartment and a rush to find the keys cause i gots to go peeeeeeeee reallly bad
- seems like i am peeing for-ever-ever-ever-eva-eva and i swear i don't think i drank that much
+ text message matt and he calls to tell me good night but decides to stay up.. we talk for a little while more
+ talk about this hotel called wynn.. it's a hotel and casino, well duh in vegas.. haha. [ link ]
+ ' good night angelic character that has found a place in my heart'

today was overall a (+) day... let's hope they keep rolling like this one more day until matt comes home. uhm yeah..

oh yeah someone said that i should tell y'all about the new look of my xanga.. but i don't know what i am supposed to tell. so if she would be so kind to comment and tell me then i can be sure to uh .. yeah post what it is that they need to know. got me? yay! no calls from the telefuckers!

Heart over Mind
(written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.)

I am in a mood because I am feeling alone
I've got the weight of other people's trouble on my back
Breaking me down, breaking me down slowly
As I live through other people's drama and all their unwon victories

Please excuse the mood, I know it scares you
Even though you don't come and talk to be about your problems
I thought it'd be fine to bring mine to you and you can help me solve them
Carrying different shades of personality with me at all times is what I do
Trying to pick out the perfect outfit for you, to be cute to be unharming to your eyes

Unspoken words are the words that break me down the most
The body language that you give keeps kicking my ass
Because I am still trying to figure it out what you are needing from me
I thought after you left I'd finally be free
I wouldn't be obligated and I would be emancipated
And being able to find out who I am after being covered in your fame and glory
Thus receiving no credit for this great talent that I carry in my back pocket

Please forgive for I am in the mood to just let go of everything, including my life
Because you have found love inside of me and I have yet to see it in you
You keep telling me that we need to do things and that we need to go ahead move on ahead in life
But you are most unprepared individual I know and haven't helped me to move anywhere
Or the further you go ahead, the further I get left behind
Left to try tears here on alone and not hear a word from you all day when you promised me
The phone call that would brighten up my day, to make me smile
To put my worries at rest for the evening so I could fall asleep with ease without the daily dosage
Of overworking a job that I no longer feel that I enjoy and end each day feeling underappreciated

I know that I am smart. I know I've got this knowledge that it supposed to save me from the heartbreak that
I suffer from so often but I haven't gotten to that point yet. I have yet to figure what the hell I am doing in my own life
As people keep on talking about me behind my back and not give me any opportunity to fix whatever they think is broken
Most of the time they are the ones that need the fixing anyway, but to know instead of hearing it from someone else or three
Or four people is quiet the unnecessary
I wish that you could have been here to help me and give me it is what I need, maybe a hug or maybe just an ear
An ear to listen to know what else I can do with myself, instead of running in circles like dumb sheeps

The music plays loud in my head, today it just seems too loud, contributing to my mood
I keep trying to turn it down but I keep downloading the noise of another place, another person
Another worry, another fear, makes shake, rattle and roll on the ground asking for mercy to save me from
The pain and suffering that I have so deep
Sometime I wake up feeling sexy and feeling that I should be wanted but I realize that it's just me
No one is here to smile in my face as they wake up to the morning glory and sunshine
No one to say that they love me and give me the love that my heart is longing for

This mood just seems to come and go.. it travels to the front and goes on to the space in the back of my mind
But only for a short while, not letting me forget how lonely I really am
How long it's been since I've have sensed the sensation of the great orgasism of love
But those that have said they loved me before have left me in the dark and empty room, which is so cloudy and full of lonely
No one really understands why I have so many closets and why the doors are nailed shut and slowly the nails fall out because of
Cheapness and they began to rust and as I start to push out of one someone buys new nails and forces me to stay in

I still here the music sometime it turns into noise because I lack the motivation to keep it going
To keep a simple melody that keep everyone happy but leave me forever still in the dark with the rest of the unhappies

SUNDAY'S ARE MADE FOR MOTHAFUCKIN' PROMO
(++ sunday artists promo)

Yeah buddy, I was doing this on MySpace for awhile, then I stopped. I
don't do it as much but I think I am going to start doing again. I pick
three musical artists that have stuck out in my mind during the week.
Sometime I promote them twice..some just once. So here are my choices
for the week:

• Missy Elliott - [http://www.missy-elliott.com]
  - I've got the boot leg version of this cd and it is simply amazing.
  Missy just never seems to lack the originality or twisting and turn
  just when you think that she's got this like one routine or whatever
  for her music. Home girl definitely really gets me with tracks like
  'Partytime,' 'Bad Man' and 'Mommy.' Check her out and get her album on
  July 5th..cause you know I am!
• Benji - [http://www.myspace.com/benjaminhayes] -
  Benji...awwh Benji. One of the many singers trying to make it the UK
  and trying to make it to the big time. I have started to work with this
  young man on his website in hopes of seeing his dream come to life. His
  smooth vocals and good looks win everyone over everytime. Be sure to
  check him out. Benji wants to make it clear that if any artists out
  there want to work with him to be sure to send an email his way at
  bhayes3000@hotmail.com.
• The Octopussi - [http://www.octopussi.com] -
  Despite the reach out and confuse me name for this rap team. With the
  one song 'If You Got Cheex' (Cheeks) that I have heard from them. I
  like the vibe that they give me. I am hoping good things from them.
  'Clap.. that' Check them out.

If you are a solo artist or have a band send me your info and I'll include you in the Sunday Artists Promo